Met Alf before that. We caught One Day because of Anne Hathaway. I thought it was a good movie, just a lil draggy. I actually cried! It's quite touching. Reminded me of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But who knows he confessed he fell asleep during the show cuz it was too boring. Tsk.
Happy boy wearing one of the shorts that I bought for him, carrying the paper bag full of his loots.
Who knows that was our last date too.
This was before I left for bkk.
I've been avoiding, been living in denial. But now it's time to face the reality. The fact that you no longer want me in your life. And this is pathetic. I am pathetic. I've never felt this forsaken by someone. Or rather no guys had ever treated me as badly as you. I know you've been alond for way too long and not used to having someone new in your life. So I wouldn't say it's your fault, although you could have done more. But I am amused, because I treated you the best among all the exes I had and all you told me was I'm too good that you couldn't accept. So guys prefer girls to treat them bad then they like, is it? Don't take me a fool. I said that before to other people too, for it was just an excuse. Whatever it is, I tried, I tried my best to make you stay, to let you know that I can't afford to lose you, to show you that you're worth it. I made you breakfast early in the morning after a whole night of mj session, took a cab down to your place when it was pouring heavily, then passed you newly bought stationary just because you merely said it over the phone that you didn't have them for school, acc you to SIM since it's your 1st day, lastly took a bus>ttrain home with journey of 1hr 30mins. Bought you so many things from bkk just to make you happy, 4 berms 2 singlets 1 shirt 1 pouch. More than what I bought for myself. I know I've repeated all these over and over again till the extend you may feel sick of hearing it, but that emphasized on the amt of things I've done or I would do for you. I spent so much time and effort on you I couldn't even believe it. And because I love you that's why I dote on you so much, too much I felt like I'm the guy in this r/s. Are you going to say those were unnecessary? Perhaps you took them for granted. What have you done for me exactly? Other than the persistent morning phone calls and 3 movie treats, I never rmb anything else. We never even had a proper dinner once. Also, it has been more than a month past my birthday. I thought I deserve more than just a birthday call. I know I always say I want this and that, but if you know me well enough, I'm pretty much an appreciative person. So even if you were to take me out for just a simple dinner, I would be more than glad. I don't need birthday presents, I don't need you to spend on me. All I need is to know that I'm important, at least to the people I cherish. Haven't you uds my point alr? But I guess expectations have led to disappointments. What's worst was when I came back from bkk, things changed, you changed. You stopped calling me at night. Imagine we'd been on phone for 2 months everyday and suddenly, you didn't call. I know you were sick for the first 2 days but on the 3rd day you explained that you wanted me to forget you. I thought you were excited for me to be back? Why? You said all along you wanted me to forget you, ever since we broke up even before my birthday. But we were still getting fine all these while and it was too sudden for me to accept, yet again. You never failed to make me cry over the phone. I gave you the freedom you wanted because we were no longer an item. You said you wanted to concentrate in studies I uds, you wanted to spend time with your friends I uds, you know it yourself how understanding I was. I have my bad points too. I'm not perfect. I apologize for my bad temper that often stressed you out with my problems because you never knew how to comfort me. Thinking back, maybe I was just a burden in your life, which you couldn't wait to get rid off. I don't know. I cannot read minds, and you seldom told me how you feel. So we stopped talking for a week, even at work. We had lunch break at the same time and it was just awkward that we did not eat together. We weren't like this before. I went nuts, I did all sorts of things be it how ridiculous they were, in order to forget you. You called recently, asking me if I you could change shift with me cuz you wanted to study for your upcoming exams, and I agreed. That's how soft hearted I am towards you. Then we continued the conversation, you admitted you are the cause of what I've become. True enough. We confessed that we are not over one another, we both haven't move on. So? No matter what it's impossible for us to be back together, even though I'm willing to wait. I will never forget you telling me this. See how cruel this is on me? I'm used to hearing it. Nevertheless, I'm still very glad I hugged you goodbye after work, and I'm guessing that's the last. After ytd, I start to have doubts again. In the past you'd be affected by whatever I did, how I sounded but.. not anymore now. It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse.
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